-Football for Breakfast

Fourth and Long:
Defending Those We Like

by Joel 'DiG' DiGiacomo
Football for Breakfast
December 26, 2007

The NFL playoffs are right around the corner and like most seasons of late, a few teams competing for the final playoff spots are genuine surprises. Teams that were given little shot at succeeding this year, but are peaking at just the right time.

I am, of course, talking about the Cleveland Browns and the Minnesota Vikings.

That is until they lost this past weekend, inflicting near fatal wounds to their playoff chances.

So once again, what we thought would be the story of the week has faded into unrealized dreams.

Which leads me to believe that perhaps the most important event in professional football this past week may not have occurred on the football field.

No, the most critical event was the hiring of Bill Parcells as head of football operations for the Miami Dolphins.

We've seen this before when two-time Super Bowl-winning coach Bill Parcells came out of retirement to turn around the moribund New England Patriots in 1993. With all of their recent success, it may be hard to remember that the now dynastic Patriots managed only 9 wins in three seasons before Parcells arrived. By his fourth season with the team, Bill Parcells had them in the Super Bowl against the Packers.

Was there drama? Did Parcells utter the now (in)famous phrase, "If they're gonna let you cook the dinner, they at least ought to let you shop for some of the groceries." Did he quit the Patriots right after the Super Bowl loss?

Yes.

But Bill Parcells, in my estimation, is worth the trouble.

Don't believe me? Take a look at his next stop.

The New York Jets suffered cruelly under the inept hands of Rich Kotite whose record over his final two and a half seasons was an appalling 4-35. Parcells invigorated this long-suffering franchise and turned them around in his first season barely missing the playoffs with a 9-7 record. By the following year, he had the Jets in the AFC championship game where they lead the defending world champions Denver Broncos by 10 in the second half.

Did the Jets eventually fall to the Broncos in the fourth quarter of the AFC championship game? Were they forced to endure the bizarre coaching shuffle from Parcells to Belichick to Al Groh? Did the Jets collapse not long after Parcells departed?

Yes, but it again depends upon how you feel about Parcells. This is a guy who has had success everywhere he's gone. Does he joust with the press? Play head games with his players? Yes, but to me at least, he's exhibited marked success everywhere he has gone including his last stop with the Cowboys.

Sure, Parcells didn't win a playoff game while in charge of the Cowboys, but when he took over in 2003, Dallas had endured three consecutive 5-11 seasons. In his first year, Parcells led them to the playoffs. And last year, he set them up for an improbable playoff run by replacing Drew Bledsoe with the unsung Tony Romo, an inspired and gutsy call. If not for a gut-wrenching fumbled snap against the Seahawks, the Cowboys might have made a deep run into the playoffs. And this season, the Cowboys have locked up the number one seed that is surely a testament to what Parcells built.

And yet there are still critics calling Parcells a bully and a prima donna who used the Falcons to get a better deal out of the Dolphins.

Which leads me to an inescapable conclusion.

We defend those who we like.

We make allowances for their shortcomings by believing their faults are what make them human.

We all do it.

I like Bill Parcells. I look past his flaws and shortcomings and see, for the most part, only that portion of the picture that I want to see.

And if you can look past his flaws, you'll find in a few years that he will have turned around the Miami Dolphins.

And a few years after that, he'll retire once again to leave us to debate his success... and his flaws.

'Larry King' Ramblings

The final weekend of the regular season is here and, surprisingly, there are very few games that really matter. So for your enjoyment pleasure, here is your viewing guide for Week 17...

#1) Saturday 8:00PM (NFL Network, simulcast on NBC and CBS): Patriots at Giants
A game that matters only for the record books. Will the New England Patriots reach perfection? Will Tom Brady break Peyton Manning's single season passing touchdown record? Will Randy Moss break Jerry Rice's single season touchdown reception record?

#2) Sunday 1:00PM: Saints at Bears
If the Redskins AND Vikings lose their afternoon games, the Saints sneak into the playoffs with a victory in Chicago.

#3a) Sunday 4:15PM: Cowboys at Redskins
Speaking of which, the Redskins control their destiny. Win and they are in. But if they should lose...

#3b) Sunday 4:15PM: Vikings at Broncos
And the Vikings beat the Broncos, then Vikings take the final NFC playoff spot.

#4a) Sunday 4:15PM: Chargers at Raiders
If the Chargers win as they should, they will clinch the #3 seed thereby avoiding the dangerous Jacksonville Jaguars in the first round of the playoffs. But if the Chargers stumble...

#4b) Sunday: 4:15PM: Steelers at Ravens
And the Steelers win, then give the #3 seed to the Pittsburgh Steelers and rookie head coach Mike Tomlin.

#5) Sunday 8:15PM: Titans at Colts
Sunday Night Football features the best game of the day. If the Titans win, they claim the final playoff spot. Lose and the Browns make it to the playoffs... regardless of how they do against the 49ers.

'Heidi' Chronicles

Emmitt Smith has been receiving a lot of criticism for his verbal miscues on ESPN, but I think the bigger story this year should be Bryant Gumbel's performance on the NFL Network.

Gumbel was brought aboard the NFL Network last year to bring legitimacy to their NFL broadcast team. But to put it mildly, Bryant Gumbel has been dreadful. And it's made all the more apparent by how good Chris Collinsworth is, such as his comparison of quarterback release times showing that Tony Romo at .26 seconds is even faster than Dan Marino at .30.

To highlight an example of Gumbel's questionable work, let's look at Saturday night's game when Panthers rookie QB Matt Moore threw into disguised coverage and was picked off. When Gumbel asked why Moore could possibly throw into that situation when he had better options on the other side of the field, Collinsworth answered incredulously, "Because he doesn't know any better. It's his second game. It's why you don't play guys this early in their careers."

Gumbel quickly changed subjects and tried to suggest that with the ball sitting on the fifty-yard line after the interception, the Cowboys wouldn't try to score with only 1:17 on the clock. Again, Collinsworth was audibly surprised, adding that he thought the Cowboys might try to add a field goal to their lead. And while the Cowboys didn't score, like any NFL team in that situation, they certainly tried.

In some ways, Gumbel is showing some improvement. Earlier in the season he praised the quarterbacking skills of Dallas Cowboys' star, Rick Romo. So this Saturday night when the NFL Network telecast of the New England Patriots at the New York Giants is simulcast on NBC and CBS, enjoy Bryant Gumbel as he chronicles the historic achievements QB Brad Brady and coach Bruce Belichick.

Playoffs?!? Don't Talk About Playoffs?!?

AFC Playoff Seeds
1) New England Patriots (15-0): One more win for a perfect regular season.
2) Indianapolis Colts (13-2): Colts blow out the Texans. This is how you want to enter the playoffs.
3) San Diego Chargers (10-5): Another nice win against the Broncos. Impressive run after a disastrous 1-3 start.
4) Pittsburgh Steelers (10-5): 10 wins in Tomlin's rookie season. Not bad. Not bad at all.
5) Jacksonville Jaguars (11-4): Crushing victory over the Raiders. This is another team peaking at just the right time.
6a) Tennessee Titans (9-6): It's simple. Titans win and they're in...
6b) Cleveland Browns (9-6): ...Titans lose and the Browns are in..

NFC Playoff Seeds
1) Dallas Cowboys (13-2): Packers loss gives the Cowboys homefield. So the only worry is T.O.'s health and Romo's confidence.
2) Green Bay Packers (12-3): Not the way to play when you're hoping to steal home-field advantage.
3) Seattle Seahawks (10-5): Seahawks thump the Ravens and clinch the #3 slot for the playoffs.
4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-6): Buccaneers are trying to get healthy. Don't expect much from the starters.
5) New York Giants (10-5): Giants finally close out the wild card spot. Now a date with history and then the playoffs.
6a) Washington Redskins (8-7): Very, very impressive win on the road. Beat the T.O.-less Cowboys and the Redskins make the playoffs. Lose and...
6b) Minnesota Vikings (8-7): ...the Vikings get in with a win. Should both the Redskins and the Vikings lose...
6c) New Orleans Saints (7-8): ...and New Orleans wins, then the Saints pull off the miracle and return to the playoffs to play the Seahawks.

'John Madden' Wayback Machine

Back before the NFL added a 17th week to the regular season. Before the endless rounds of playoffs. Before even ESPN, playoff football began Christmas weekend.

And back some 35 years ago before instant replay and the hundreds of different camera angles there was a play that changed NFL football. And changed the fortunes of a franchise along the Monongahela, Alleheny and Ohio rivers.

The Immaculate Reception.

It was December 23, 1972 and the Pittsburgh Steelers trailed the Oakland Raiders 7-6 in the divisional playoffs. Facing a fourth-and-ten on their own 40 with only 22 seconds left in the game, Terry Bradshaw threw a desperation pass in the direction of Steeler fullback John 'Frenchy' Fuqua. Raiders safety Jack Tatum collided with Fuqua as the ball arrived, sending it high into the air. As the crowd watched the Steelers season coming to an end, from out of nowhere Franco Harris caught the ball with his fingertips and raced downfield for a touchdown and a Steelers win.

Surprisingly, what has been forgotten over the intervening 35 years is that while the referees probably got the call right, the referee, Fred Swearingen, telephoned NFL's supervisor of officials Art McNally in the press box before signaling the touchdown a minute later. It is perhaps the first time that instant replay was used to determine the outcome of the game.

Even more curiously, is that the Steelers did not go on to win the Super Bowl that year or the next as most people believe. It was the Miami Dolphins who defeated the Steelers the following week 21-17 on the way to their undefeated season and first of two consecutive Super Bowl titles.

Battle for Darren McFadden (or Colt Brennan or Whoever the #1 Pick Will Be)

#1 - Miami Dolphins (1-14): Dolphins lock up the No. 1 pick while Hurricane Tuna hits Thursday.
#3 - Atlanta Falcons (3-12): Will Marty Schottenheimer end up in Atlanta?
#4 - St. Louis Rams (3-12): Another tough loss which begs the question, does Linehan deserve another season?
#4 - New York Jets (3-12): The end of the Chad Pennington era.

This Website Stinks!

A quick shout out to an amusing Internet phenomenon this past week.

As Tony Romo had to endure endless questions about Jessica Simpson and how it impacted his play, a few Carolina Panther fans came up with an idea to rattle Romo with a stadium full of Jessica Simpson look-a-likes. So began www.RuinRomo.com where fans could download and print out Jessica Simpson masks for the game last week when the Cowboys visited the Panthers.

Did it work? No.

Was it pretty funny? Yes.

Kudos to the RuinRomo.com and keep up the good work.

And Now for Something Completely Different...

It is the stuff of legends. And it seems somewhat apropos as this is Christmas week.

So I present, via YouTube, a condensed version of the infamous Star Wars Christmas Special, a two-hour debacle that George Lucas has long sought to bury.

Is it any good?

Imagine a cheesy 1970s television holiday special guest starring Art Carney and Bea Arthur and you'll have your answer. But it does, at least, make for an amusing diversion this holiday season.

Previously...

12/19: 'To Morrow' courtesy of Jim Henson from season one of 'The Muppet Show'
12/12: Famous Bartles & Jaymes commercial from 1987
12/05: Craig Ferguson's moving tribute to his father on The Late Late Show, January 30, 2006
11/28: Johnny Cash performing 'A Boy Named Sue' live at San Quentin State Prison in 1969
11/21: Leonard Nimoy singing the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins on Malibu U, July 28, 1967
11/14: Fascinating optical illusions in people photographs
11/07: Most apropos for Halloween... ExtremePumpkins.com
10/31: Hysterically bad 'Questionable Impressions' from Whose Line Is It Anyway?
10/24: Funniest Frank Caliendo impersonation of John Madden from MadTV
10/17: Kevin Pollack's Shatner, Falk and Walken impressions on Late Show with David Letterman.
10/10: Shatner sings to Lucas at 2005 AFI Life Achievement Award: A Tribute to George Lucas
10/03: A final Nazi reference courtesy of Ricky Gervais, creator of The Office and Extras
09/26: German dictator roasts Don Rickles on the Dean Martin Celebrity Roast from 1970s
09/19: Carol Channing and Nazis hawking dessert products. I kid you not.

We'll see you all next time on Fourth and Long!

FOURTH AND LONG ARCHIVES
'Fourth and Long' on Football for Breakfast
12/26: Defending Those We Like
12/19: Cracking Jokes in Dallas
12/12: Headlines You May Never See
12/05: The NFL in December
11/28: Mud and the Blood and the Beer
11/21: Any Given Sunday
11/14: Playoffs?!? Don't Talk About Playoffs?!?
11/07: Long Live the King
10/31: The Forgotten Team
10/24: In Pursuit of Patriot Perfection
10/17: Vitriol and the Dallas Cowboys
10/10: Schadenfreude
10/03: Bad Karma in San Diego
09/26: McNabb's Failure to Communicate
09/19: Stealing Signals
09/12: This Website Stinks!